My Spa Visit
I am a spa junkie. I love facials, massages and I am generally up for anything they suggest on their little menu of treatments.
I have had chocolate massages in Hershey and special mud facials on Madison Avenue. I know no bounds when it comes to a spa. I just love being pampered. I do however have a low threshhold of personal space invasion. One time Bob gave me a spa day and I thought I was going to have an anxiety attack after the first 3 hours. I can only take so much petting at one time so I go for short procedures, but on a regular basis. So here is the story.
I went to our local spa for a facial, one of my personal favorites in the continuing search for younger skin. (Haven’t found it yet or you would know about it and I would be really,realy rich.) I am however your best source for this kind of information as I have spared no time, pain or expense in my research.
I was scheduled with Olga, a very nice Russian lady with a heavy accent. This somehow translated to me that she would have old world skills and transforming creams. Little do I know. As I lay there with my hair in a net and a little wrap around towel with a warming blanket and cucumbers on my eyes, the feeling of complete relaxation came over me. Ahhhhhh.
First she cleaned my face, then she steamed my face. Sometimes the steam is a little much and I feel like I am in one of those perforated rice bags in the microwave. I turned away since Olga had left the room and then quickly turned back when I had the door knob. I hope this did not in anyway affect my potential beautifying experience. But we will never know. Now comes the good part, where Olga pulls out the very bright light magnifying glass and looks at your skin. If you have never used one of these on yourself DON”T. If you have already done so you will know that it is very addicting and very bad for you, as is the case with most addictions. You see every imperfection that no one else can see, unless of course they too are looking at you with the magnifying glass But you forget that little bit of info and preceed to try and fix these blackheads, whiteheads, hairs – need I go on. After you have made your face into a blotchy mess you toss aside the mirror – until the next time. Trust me – just don’t go there. Magnifying mirrors are the crack for spa junkies. Back to my story.
As I lay there with little cucumbers on my eyes Olga asks, ” You vant I should vax your eyebrows?” I say yes because she clearly has a better perspective than I do and plus that procedure would require the magnifying mirror and I am really trying to quit. She then says “You vant I should vax your underarms?” “Yes” I reply, though not because it would entail the use of the mirror but hey who likes to shave and I clearly I forgot to do it sometime ago. Some people do not like waxing in general or they have particular areas that they do not like to wax. I do not wax my upper lip, though my mirror suggests at times it is needed. I do not do it because it causes little red bumps, which I feel are worse than the hairs. I could be wrong, although no one has suggested shaving as of yet, so I am going with the tweezers on this issue. Anyway, as Olga goes down her litany of things I need done she says to me ” Just vone more leettle torture for you, OK?” OK. As I lay there resting and relaxing I experience a sudden and painful sensation that I have never, I mean never, in my life felt before. OOUUUUCCCCCCHHHHHH!!!!! My little cucumbers fly off my eyes as I sit up. She has taken a string or perhaps a hay baler and pulled out all of my nose hairs in one single and swift motion. She gathered them up in a little bundle, who know they could be bundled and yanked them out all at once. Oh dear God – my nose was numb, my virgin nostrils were numb and my brain was in complete shock. And then she said this “OK darlink – now ve do osser side” And before I could protest she had that string thing wrapped around the nose hairs in my left nostril and yanked them out. It did not feel any better knowing ahead of time what torture was to befall me. OOOUUUCCCHH!!!! Except this time I had no cucumbers as they were still laying on the floor from the right nostril. The curious thing is that she did not seem the least bit bothered by either what she just did nor my reaction. I cannot believe that other people do this but by her blase behavior I have to guess they do. What they don’t do is they do not advertise this little unknown fact of beautification as I just did. But you needed to know.
As a beauty tip follow up I must say I breathe much better now that I no longer have any nose hairs to catch any thing that might be floating around in the air. I feel like the lint screen on the dryer was cleaned out or rather removed entirely. I can only hope that my brain doesn’t catch on fire from all the extra lint that might be floating around in my head.
And I wonder if the hairs grow back in and if they do – will I have this procedure repeated? Who knows or is that who’s nose? HA HA
Faux Farm Girl
Annie