GO BLOW YOUR NOSE!
The first full day with all my siblings started out great. We had a nice lunch on the patio. The kids searched for lost cats and the rest of us just lazed around the hammocks. My brother announced that he wanted to go jet skiing and waterskiing. What could possibly go wrong with that combination? We are all an athletic bunch and though the years have been kinds to us – apparently not that kind.
My brother really wanted to go waterskiing and after assembling all the necessary equipment, he was ready. He was gong to show all his older sisters, his wife, his parents and his kids just how athletic and talented he was. He was even going to start out on one ski. The big show off. After numerous failed attempts at getting up, falling down, forgetting to let go of the rope and being dragged face first through the water he was finally up. It was a beautiful sight. Once around the bay and then twice, we were all hooting and whistling. We were so proud.
Then the magic stopped. The boat comes in and Charlie jumps out. He has a headache. The worst headache of his life, so bad in fact and so sudden that he is sure he has a brain aneurysm. He is a brain surgeon after all, so he ought to know. We all rush into the house with him; he lies in pain and then announces he must go the emergency room. Ok, but the hospital is 45 minutes away. He wants a brain CT scan. But, it was my turn to water-ski next. Could this not wait until the sun goes down? This was a bit drastic even for our even hypochondriac family. “No, time is of the essence with these things, we must leave now” he whispers trying not to rupture his aneurysm. I am the elected driver because I am great in an emergency. If you need long term care and nurturing, I am not your girl but for fast action and quick thinking, I am all yours. By the time we get to the hospital, he thinks he might be feeling a bit better. However, you cannot be sure with these things and so we go in for that CT scan. It is still a beautiful sunny day and I am now sitting in a small but very crowded emergency room. I just know this is going to take all afternoon. He better be really, really sick after all of this. Isn’t it terrible that we, or maybe it is just me, think like that. I can feel the germs surrounding me in the waiting room and so I leave him and go sit outside in the fresh air. Remember, good in a crisis, bad on the nurturing. After two hours, I am still sitting outside to save myself from rampant hospital air-borne germs. I have raided the snack and soda machine in an effort to stave the boredom and then relief is in sight. An older man comes along, sits on the curb, and chats with me about his parent’s car accident. I in turn trade my story about my brother’s brain aneurysm. He in turn tells me about his brain aneurysm. An epidemic? There he was making love to his wife back in 1992 ( too much information) on their waterbed ( way too much) and he gets the worst headache of his life. Sounds familiar. Nine hours later, he is being operated on and he is here today due to the fast action of getting to the hospital so quickly. Ok, we did that part right. Just as he is about to go into more detail about the waterbed part and all the sloshing water my brother appears. No IV, No wristband, No hospital gown. NO BRAIN ANEURYSM. What? I missed waterskiing. I missed my chance to show off. I missed being with our family on this beautiful sunny day because why? And in a voice so quiet, that it would not have ruptured a brain aneurysm if he actually had one he whispered, “Impacted sinus due to excessive water up my nose”.
Thanks goodness he is the smart one in the family!