Last Ride On The River
It is always fun to see the big ships on the St Lawrence River. And they really are big!
It was finally a nice sunny day and so we all went for an afternoon boat ride. And since we were already going for the ride maybe we could pick up a jet ski down the river for my sister. I mean, since we were already gong to be on the water and since we liked jet skiing and all. Jill thought this was great because she could follow us on her jet ski both down and back and then Bob could ride in the boat down there and bring the second jet ski back. We get down there and it starts right up and so we untie Bob and send him on his way. He got about 20 feet away from the dock and the jet ski died. It starts again, it dies again. This goes on for about 20 minutes and Bob is getting farther and farther away. We are yelling to him to use the choke – he is giving us bad hand signals. Finally, we decide to put ourselves out of misery and go get him and tow the jet ski back. We get close and turn off the boat and while our nautical men are discussing how to attach the tow line, I see the hole in the front fender and suggest we thread the tow rope through it. I am told to step aside and let people who know about marine craft decide how to handle it. Fine. What do I know? The men folk chat and finally decide that they should put the tow rope through the hole in the front fender. DUH!!! Bob can’t get to it from the seat on the jet ski and our captain certainly can’t do it because, well, he is the captain. And my sister can’t do it because, well, she has me. So I have to lay down on my stomach and hook my feet under a seat and lean out off the back of the boat. My entire upper body is now over the water. I am thinking that I should have done more sit ups because I don’t know how long I can hold my body like this with out falling in. I am also thinking I don’t know how I will ever get out of this position without pulling, breaking or straining some part of my body. But before I ever get to that point I have to lean way down to get to the jet ski bumper and my face is practically in the water. I get the rope through on the first try and miraculously get myself back in the boat. I just flung my head and chest up and flipped back into the boat. Being the nimble gymnast that I am I should have gotten a 10 for that dismount. It was that spectacular! Anyway, I am not about to let my success be diminished nor do I want to have to do that again so I give the end of the rope to our captain so he can tie the correct nautical knot being that he knows about marine craft and I don’t know nothin. He ties it up, turns on the engine and we start off and go about 50 feet and guess what – yup- that rope comes untied. “I am so glad I didn’t tie that knot” was all I said. (hee hee hee) So, now I have to do my little lean off the end of the boat trick again. (Who’s laughing now?)However, this time, as I am leaning off the back of the back, the engine is running. The fumes are in my face and I can see the prop spinning in the water which is just inches from my head and if that is not enough, one end of the rope is in my hand and the rest of the rope is just hanging in the water near the prop. This has disaster written all over it. I am going to get sucked in, dragged in or die from the gas fumes. Apparently, I am the only one that knows about the danger I am in because the rest of the folks are talking away with each other enjoying the sunny day on the river. I think it was the fumes killing off brain cells because even though the kids were on board I somehow managed to lift my head up from it’s watery position and I yelled ” turn the fucking engine off”. That got their attention. Engine off, tow rope installed. No one talks, I tie the knot and off we go. I am exhausted and have a pounding headache like I had been sucking gas fumes. Oh wait, I had been sucking gas fumes. “Take a Tylonel” is all my sister has to offer. After a few minutes of fresh air, my head clears, I apologize for the cursing and I start taking photos. All is well again. Except for Bob. Bob choose to ride on the jet ski while we towed it just so he could pretend he was a trick rider. He won’t be well for a long, long time!
You go Bob!
Love ya,
Faux Farm Girl,
annie