Jill asked me to come to her game today. It was an away game at a school close to home and so I said sure. Then she asked if I would bring gatorade and snacks for about 20 kids, so I said sure. Now that Jill is my only child at home I am really trying to do things with and for her so she doesn’t feel so left out.

I got to the school and asked some kids where I could find the middle school soccer game and they looked at me with that teenage eyeball look and said “don’t you mean field hockey?”. HMMM, I seem to remember something about buying a new field hockey stick last week so I am guessing I do mean field hockey. “Oh yeah, that’s the game I am looking for” I replied. More eyeball rollling and they pointed to a parking lot  and told me that it was the closest lot to the field. Off I went, on what I was hoping was not some teenage prank. Yeah, make the old, confused lady park really, really far away from the field. I park and find another mother wandering aimlessly, probably having gotten the same directions from those kids. But alas, she had asked a coach and yes this is as close as we were going to get to the hockey field. The field was as far away as it could possibly be and still be in the same school district. If I had not had high heels on, this would not have been a problem. Had I not had the giant box of chips and pretzels to carry, this would not have been a problem. Had I not had a case of 24 bottles of gatorade that weighed about 50 pounds, this would not have been a problem. But I did have all those things and so I just repeated to myself, “you are a good mother so pick this stuff up and start walking”.  Lucky for me the other mom was not only a good mom but a good samaritan and she offered to help me carry my stuff. I really wanted to give her the gatorade but instead I gave her the 5 pound, light as a feather, box of chips. I, on the other hand, carried the ton of gatorade. I passed the entire length of two football fields, and one soccer field. I think it was one mile. I passed a lady sitting on the side lines of the football game in a golf cart with one of those first aid stretchers. I looked at her, she looked at me and she asked “am I going to have to use this on you?” No, but you could offer me a ride on your cart I almost suggested but then I decided I had come this far and as a good mom I should at least put in the effort to haul my own snacks. Anyway, it would be way better in the eyes of my child to collapse from exhaustion than to ask for a ride and arrive in the golf cart. So I must look pretty bad though if she thought I needed a stretcher. I wonder if she has oxygen on her cart, I sure could use some of that.  Almost there and shit, there is a fence with no gate surrounding the field and I have to walk around the entire hockey field to get to the bench with our players. My arms are killing me, my hands are killing me, my feet are killing me. I do need that oxygen and I am dying of thirst. Oh wait, I have plenty to drink, I am carring a case of fluids. I could just stop and put the case down and take one out. But then, I might not be able to pick it up again and with my luck, if I open the plastic casing I have a good chance of all of the bottles falling out and scattering everywhere. Don’t stop, you’ll get out of the zone, just keep going I tell myself. I will suffer and when I arrive, Jill will see what a good mother I am. Did I mention that I hate sports! I would have exerted less effort had I just played in the freaking hockey game myself. I finally arrive, I place my gatorade on the bench and look up and there is my friend Christy. Some friend Christy, where were you when I was needing some help?  “Did you see me carrying that case of gatorade?” Oh, yeah, I saw you, looked heavy too!” Friends!! And did I mention she used to work for me. The game was only 1 hour long and it took me 25 minutes just to get from my car to the field and by the time I finished with my hellos with Christy and regained my strength, I actually only saw 20 minutes of the game. The other team won. There were only about 15 girls on our team but I made them drink all the gatorades and eat all the chips so I wouldn’t have to carry anything back with me. As I was leaving I noticed the other team had water bottles and apple slices and oranges. All those healthy snacks may be why the girls won the game, but I can assure you that I could have taken on their moms in any game of endurance with my training in junk food hauling. Oh, and by the way, I am a field hockey mom. “What kind of mom are you if you don’t even know the name of the sport your only kid at home plays?” Jill asked me. “Well, honey, I am a very strong mom and that is the best kind”.  Now let’s go get some apples and oranges and water so you can beat that team next week.

The photo is my Dad with the soccer ball and although the hockey field was not quite as far away as the cloud covered mountains in the background, it surely felt like it was.

Faux Farm Girl,

annie