The Too Cool Bra
Jilly just bought herself a new bra. She purchased this little item at Victoria’s Secret and it cost $45.00. A few thoughts come to my mind. #1. Where is her mother? #2. Why is my 14 year old buying expensive bras when her poor old mother, who clearly needs the best bra that money can buy, is out buying the old ratty discount bras at TJ Maxx? I have no answer to either of these questions. Please help me. We wear the same size bra – I know, it must the hormones they give the cows because I had no boobs until I was about 20. Anyway, I tried on this cool little bra and guess what? It didn’t fit. Well, it fit but it didn’t fit well. How does that Heidi Klum do it with all those kids? I think they need to rate bras based on the consistency of your breasts, not just on the circumference of your chest and the cup size. J = Jiggly, F = Floppy, R = Rocks (implants) and the ideal P =Perky. I am sure there are many more categories but I haven’t really done too much research on breasts as I have enough trouble just keeping track of my own. The reason for this grading system is that when you have a cool little bra with extra padding in the bottom and a low cut top then you add old jiggly boobs what you get is something like a bowl overflowing with jello, being carried by a drunk waiter. Trust me, it is not the effect that you were going for. Everyone is looking, but not in a good way. However, put those perky “P” boobs in this same bra and va voom, everybody’s looking. They are looking in that good kind of way you were hoping for except you didn’t quite make it. So, the moral of this story is as follows. Just because the bra fits you doesn’t mean that you look good in it. Make sure that the style of the bra is consistent with the consistency of your boobs. Just remember the jello!
Faux Farm Girl
Annie