The Costco Buffet
I have a counterpart in the blogging world. Her name is Lindsey and she is known as The Goat Cheese Lady and you can read her post about Costco food samples here. As I read her post I realized I had found my blogging polar opposite. And I now feel compelled to add my spin to her take on life with my own faux version. Game on! First of all, she makes her own cheese and milk and yogurt. She is a real goat farmer with real animals and a produce producing garden. I don’t think we have a thing in common other than we can type on a keyboard and post on our blogs. Even that has it challenges as I just had a manicure and I have pretty pink nail polish on and I bet she doesn’t.
She just posted about eating the samples at Costco and how she used to love it and now, having read all these books about eating healthy foods, she has lost her palate for the Costco sampler buffet.
Well sister, first of all, you should never, ever have eaten that food in the first place. It is sitting out there with everyone poking and breathing on it. Good lord, do you know how many germs are floating around that place. The corn by products that in that food are the least of your problems. The gurgling in your stomach? Probably from some snotty nosed kids peering at the food table, at nose height, breathing on those little white paper cups. It’s called salmonella! YUK!
On the other hand, I love corn by products. Aren’t they one of the main food groups in the food pyramid, along with diet soda, red dye #2 and Cheez-its. You see ,the FAUX in my Faux Farm Girl extends well beyond my inability to be an actual farmer. The FAUX extends to all parts of my life, including my caloric intake which consists of very little real food. Aside from a really good Kobe Filet Mignon (medium rare please) with a baked potato from Fleming s, my diet consists of the following: Cheez-its, Pizza, Oreos, Wilbur’s chocolate buds, Herr’s potato chips and bagels. Every once in a while I throw down a Maker’s Mark and ginger ale just to break up the cholesterol but mostly I drink Venti Ice Tea with 2 Splenda. I just show up daily at my local Starbucks and boom, the drink appears and I hand them the card without a word being utter between us. Once a week I drink a glass of plain water, just for the heck of it. In the summer, I drink it right out of hose. But here is the best part, I really love goat cheese, especially with Wheat Thins. This is our common denominator, the one thing that binds us together, with the small exception of the Wheat Thins, which I am sure you do not eat.
So, just that we are clear on things. I wholeheartedly agree with you about laying off the Costo Sampler buffet but only because it is a gross concept, not because the food itself is inherently gross.
And by the way, don’t waste your time reading all those pseudo lifestyle healthy food books. Grab some good old microwave faux buttered popcorn and rent the movie, Food, Inc. That will scare the bejesus out of you and you won’t so much as eat candy corn after watching it.
You do have a TV-DVD don’t you? I’m just asking because you know my sister, the zoo vet, is non TV person and that kind of “thing” is contagious around healthy lifestyle people. On the other hand, I have 7 TV’s in my main house, 3 at the Faux Farm and 2 at The River. We also have numerous ipads, computers, and iphones and with Hulu and itunes, we are so hooked up, tuned in and signal ready that we don’t ever have to take out eyes off of a flicking screen. It’s a good thing those Cheez-its are such a bright orange, otherwise we might not be able to find them between the commercials!
I’m just saying!