A few years ago B. King and I went to Sedona for a client’s event. We stayed at a wonderful resort called The Enchantment where they have a fabulous spa. And that is just about where the fun part of this story ends.

 

As the bell man was taking me to our cassita I casually asked him if there were any insects, plants or snakes around that I should be aware of. “Oh no mam, you are very safe here in Sedona and especially at The Enchantment”. Hey, you never know. I am not an worry wart but I was never in the desert before and well, you just never know. They could have rattlesnakes or scorpions. But he said I was safe so there you have it. Just remember, when in a strange place the emphasis is always on strange. How you see something and how the locals see it are always two different things.

On the first night we went out to dinner with our client. She called later to see if I would go out to the car and see if her husband had left his wallet in our rental car. The Enchantment is comprised of many little cassitas (houses) and small pathways that connect them to each other and the main building. It is located in a canyon so it is dark, dark, dark and the little path lights are more for aesthetics than really seeing anything. They know this and provide you with a flashlight at your front door. So I grab my trusty flashlight and off I go down the windy path to the parking lot about 300 yards away. I get to the car and look in and see the wallet but, doggone it, I forgot the keys. UUGGHH!  It is so dark and beautiful you can see all the stars in the sky. It is a lovely warm night and I am thinking to myself that I can see why people retire out here. And while I am looking up at the stars, meadering back to get the keys and not really paying attentioin to my surroundings I hear something. I stop. I listen with the special hearing you have when you are a little bit scared and you try not to breathe so you can hear even better. Over to the right, there is something there, a little rabbit maybe or a squirrel. I’m thinking cute and tiny.  I look around with my flash light and I see puffs of breath about 6 feet from the path.  I am not breathing at all right now, there are no puffs of breathe coming out of me. I point my flashlight over to the right and there before my very eyes are about 20 eyes looking right back at me. Holy Shit.  What are they? I step closer to get a better look. My mouth drops open. I freeze for a second. There is a herd of the most giant, ugly, snorting pigs I have ever seen in my life. Not porky pigs, or Babe the pig, and certainly not the pig from Charlotte’s Web. No, these are big, mean, black, hairy, smelly pigs with giant tusks. AAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!  I start running, they start running. Oh my god, is this how it will end for me – run down by a pack of wild boars, at a spa resort, no less. I didn’t even have my facial yet. I run faster, Oh My God, I forgot where I live, the cassitas all look the same, shoot, I really am going to die out here. Where do I live? I scream “Barb!” A door opens, I run in, and shout “close the door, the pigs are after me, a whole herd of giant pigs.”  Barb looks at me like I am a crazy person- I can’t breathe, my heart is racing and my side is aching from running, Damn, I really should have started that excerise program.  I dial the front desk and I hardly get the words out  ” Pigs, giant pigs outside my door”.

A giggle, a little laugh and then the front desk lady says ” Oh no, mam, they are not pigs, they are Havalina’s”.  Havelina did she say? What in God’s name is a havalina.  Wait, my brain is swirling from lack of oxygen, it sounds like something familiar – oh yeah ballerina, that’s what it sounds like, but wait they look nothing like ballerinas and just because it rhymes with ballerina doesn’t make it pink and fluffy and nice – they are huge, ugly  pigs with tusks. Do not trick me with some fancy name, a pig by any other name is still a pig. And so I reply  ”they were trying to kill me.”  ”Oh no mam, they will not hurt you unless you startled them or if they have babies. You didn’t startle them did you?” she said with more sympathy for the pigs than me.  Yeah lady I did startle them, they were hiding in the bushes, laying in wait.  But what about me, I was startled too and hello, I am the one paying for the cassita, not the ugly pigs, be sorry for me. She did not feel sorry for me, not one single bit. As for that good friend B. King, she laughed, she looked outside and said “I don’t see any pigs” and slowly closed the door. And she wouldn’t even got out to get the poor guys wallet. And neither did I.

I did however find that bell captain the next morning and I went right up to him and said, ” Hey, when someone inquires about local wildlife you just might want to mention the giant snorting pigs with tusks.”  He laughed and said ” What, the Havalinas? Oh, they are nothing”.

 

 

See this scary looking head – this is what I saw. Times 10 of them.

 

Even this is fairly realistic. That baby looks mean too!

 

Now these photos show what the locals see. They paint these little statues of the ugly pigs for charity.

Different artists paint them up in different themes and then they are auctioned off. They are all around the town.

We do the same thing back east – except that we use Golden Retreivers!!!!!!!   Nice, friendly looking animals instead of the ugly pigs, which ,even when dressed up still look ugly and mean. But then again, maybe I am a bit biased, cause they scared the living day lights out of me! I needed many massages and facials to recover from this little trauma.

 

Faux Farm Girl

Annie