In an effort to take advantage of all the beautifying tricks out there in the world, I decided to get a spray tan. Somewhere between deciding to wear or not wear underwear during the procedure I totally missed the instructions about coating your feet with the barrier cream.  Yes, tan spray tan that misses your body ends up on the floor, yes when you step on the floor that spray goes onto your feet, yes it turns the darkest color tan you can image, yes it is there for a very,very long time. No amount of lemon juice, scrubbing or even the special $27.00 a tube removal cream will get this stuff off your skin. It has to wear off. It takes an incredibly long time for that to happen by the way!

Little D needed my sister to arrange a play day with his buddy, Hassan Babbaganoush. I know, it sounds like something from the Middle Eastern deli. I think I had it with pita bread one time. (more…)

Did you ever wonder about the imaginary line that separates genius from moron? Is it a thick big bold line like down the center of the road or just a tiny line as thin as a strand of hair? (more…)

Do you see Bob and me huddled over that oven? That was our Christmas dinner we were trying to save. (more…)

Thanks to a glut of stupidity on the part of other people I am slowly moving down the Moron Board and with any luck should be off the board entirely in just 6 more acts of moronic behavior by anyone other than me. (more…)

My very bright college daughter decided to teach her little sister a lesson. (more…)

                   If you are feeling politically correct today just go get yourself some coffee and skip this post.  (more…)