I have a new employee whose wife works at a big department store, in the make up department.  How great is that! She sent him to work with a bag full of samples.

 It was like Christmas, my birthday and Easter rolled into one. After trying all the samples, I went to the store to buy a few items.  They offered to give me a make over and who I am to refuse such a treat.  I love this stuff. I am in eternal search for the magic potion that will turn back the hands of time.  In the alternative I am happy to live in a state of denial and apply lotions and potions just for the heck of it. So they took off all my old make up and put on creams and potions to reduce fine lines, wrinkles and take away age spots. Miracles in small bottles. About the time she started to put the foundation on I felt a little itch. By the time she finished with the blush and bronzer I felt a little bigger itch and slight burning sensation. By the time she put on the mascara my eyes were watering and I needed a tissue to blot the tears. This did not deter nor interest her. She was on a mission to beautify me – regardless of the consequences that this seemed to have on my body. She gave me a mirror and said ” Look – you are lovely” I think she was the blind make up artist because what I saw in that mirror was a puffy face, watering bloodshot eyes and mascara dripping down my cheeks. I bought two things that I didn’t want just to get out of there.  I wasn’t thinking, my face was burning and itching me like crazy and I needed fresh air.

I went into the mall and people were looking at me. I was not imagining this. They were not looking at me like WOW, she looks fabulous. No, it was more of  a WOW look at her, she looks like a wreck. I couldn’t finish shopping – I had to get home. I went straight away to the car. I never should have looked in the rear view mirror. OH MY GOD. My face was puffed up and blotchy.  My green eyes jumped out compared to the traffic light red color that surrounded them. And my eyes were watering so badly. I had no tissues so I had to lift up my shirt and use that to wipe my eyes just so I could see. It was a long ride home.

I walked in the house and the first thing Bob said was ” what is all over your face?”  “AAAAHHHH  I was poisoned by makeup.” I washed my face, I showered, and I even took a bath and dunked my head under water, repeatedly. I held my breathe and held my head under the water.  My face stung and itched. It felt burned. It felt a little crispy. It felt dry.  Lines and crevices appeared that had taken years and gobs of creams to erase and now they had instantly returned.  I quickly put moisturizer on.  AAAAHHHHHH burning, stinging more face washing. What in the world was in that stuff.  I read the package. All natural, plant extracts and more natural stuff.  My body is not used to natural things. I am more of a synthetic person and this certainly proved my point. I lay in bed that night with my face throbbing.

Then next morning I was able to put on some cream with only a mild burning sensation. It has now been four days. I can wear makeup and I look reasonable good – until about noon.  That is when the moisturizer wears off and my face looks like sandpaper. It is all flaking like a bad sunburn. I have been slathering more and more moisturizer on it and now my face has broken out from all the cream.  I am a mess. I don’t know how this happened. I am the crème aficionado. I think maybe she put one of those special chemical acid peel creams on my face but forgot to take it off. I just can’t imagine what else it could be. I am sure I will be better soon. This will not deter me from my continuing search for the best face crème. But I will never get a free make over again at a store counter.

 Faux Farm Girl

Annie