The Art of Sleeping
I love to sleep. And it would appear by my Dad’s position on this sofa that this passion runs in our family!
First, I would like to say that there is an art to sleeping and it differs from going to bed just as eating differs from dining. It requires the right atmosphere, accoutrements and frame of mind. Going to bed is just jumping in, laying down and drifting off. Going to sleep involves preparation and thought with the ultimate goal of a peaceful and restful respite. Are you with me on this, are you following me? Let me explain.
Picture this – you are falling asleep on the sofa, you get up to go to the bathroom, turn on the bright lights, brush teeth, wash face and now, you are wide awake. You jump into bed with your sweats on, turn off the light and lay there. Waiting. Thinking. Talking to your spouse. Hoping for sleep.
Now let’s play it the right way. Before you are too tired, get all the teeth brushing, face washing out of the way while you are wide awake. Wear comfy cloths to bed, a night shirt, something loose and non binding, no buttons or nothing at all. The bed should be made with nice clean sheets. By the way, they should be changed at least once a week. And just so you know, my pet peeve is making the bed the correct way. The colorful side of the top sheet should be face down so that when you open the covers the sheets you see have color on both sides. Most people put the colorful side face up, which is now against the blanket and all you see is the back dull side when you get in to bed. Think about it.
OK, now dim the lights. If you want to go watch TV or read go ahead. When you are tired go straight to bed, your bed awaits you, swathed in low light. When you get into bed, relax, clear your mind. This is a big one-DO NOT TALK. THIS IS NOT A TIME TO DISCUSS THE KIDS, WORK OR YOUR IN-LAWS. Do not think. Breathe slowly and let yourself drift away. Isn’t that better?
The only bad part of this whole scenario is that I snore. I have not heard it myself and only know about it third hand. But from all accounts – it is fearsome. and very loud. It is so bad that when we all stayed in the at the Sheraton over Christmas, Ali slept in the bathtub with the door closed to escape my snoring. She thought that I needed professional help because it sounded like a beast from withthin.
Bob says he can hear it all the way in the family room. I think he is lying. How could he sleep next to me if it is that loud! He says he would rather hear the snoring than sleep in the guest room with out me. That is love. I love Bob too but I love my sleep just a tinsy bit more and if the roles were reversed I would so be in that guest room. Sorry honey.
So I relayed all this info to my doctor and now I am going to sleep at the sleep center to find out if my snoring is just loud and bothersome or indicative of a bigger problem. The only thing is that I haven’t snored, according to Bob, the last 2 nights. What if I don’t snore at the sleep center? What if they think I am a faux, fake snorer? Bob said he could get letters attesting to the snoring from all members of my family and probably the entire third floor of the Sheraton, specifically rooms 308 and 312. Yes we were in 310!
So I am going to chronicle all the sleep info for tomorrow’s post. Stay tuned.
Faux Farm Girl
Annie